Chances are, most of what you really want is already right in front of you. If you want to feel more positive, look at what is going RIGHT in your life, right now. What is good? What is working? Nurture it. Acknowledge it. Give it thanks. And watch it grow.

The more attention you give to something, the more it will grow. So just like you can train your brain to learn how to do something new, you can train your brain to look for the good. Some days, finding something to be grateful for is harder than others. I know this as well as anyone. After my husband died, I had to force myself to think about what was good in my life. But once I started looking, I was amazed at how much I discovered.


What are YOU grateful for, in your relationships, in your work, and in your life? Once you’ve given it a few moments of thought, write about it. Writing it down reinforces it.

Now add the WHY. The WHY is essential because it makes it stick. The more you practice this, the more you will notice the good in your life. It’s kind of like what happens when you are looking for a new car. Once you decide what kind of car you want to buy, it suddenly starts to seem like everyone has that make and model because you see it everywhere on the highway. In reality, that particular car is not on the road any more than it was before; it’s just that now that you are looking for it, you notice it everywhere.

The same will happen when you train your brain to see the good and appreciate it — every day. You will reinforce it and see it more day by day, and the more attention you give to gratitude, the more it will grow.

You can apply this to things that are not working in your life. If a relationship feels strained, for instance, focus on what you like about the relationship or the person. Make a conscious choice to appreciate this aspect or trait, rather than focusing on what is not working.


It is so easy for us to get caught in the negativity trap of focusing on what is not working. And it often takes a major wake-up call in our lives for us to begin to appreciate what we already have. You do not have to wait for the bottom to fall out to see what you had. You can start right now.

Making a deliberate effort to focus on what is working on your life, rather than falling into the pitfall of seeing what is not working, is work itself. It takes discipline and practice, like any new skill You are flexing a new muscle in your brain.

When you are mindful of your thoughts, you can focus you attention on what you want more of. So start with what is good right now.

What is working in your life right now? What are you grateful for? If you want to find more ways to feel more positive and be more resilient every day, you can start by visiting my site or contacting me at

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